Being deceitful with the person you are with and those around you doesn’t make you a good person. It doesn’t make you honest or caring. Even if you are a great person in every other way you are still are in the wrong. As for those that sit back and go along with the deceit they are just as guilty and are no better. Let me explain why this is my blog for the day.
There is someone I am close to and have known for over 25 years. This person was there to cover for my ex when he cheated on me and then tried to comfort me after the fact. Going forward I have been vocal every time this person got back together with the kids’ other parent. Then the partner they were married to, left, re married, left, and re married again. I am the type that has a low tolerance for accepting this type of behavior in front of me.
My ex allows this to happen is his home with this person and others. I don’t understand why this is okay. Why this happens to many friends and family’s homes. Why do we as people allow cheating to come into our lives and not shut it down. I might not be the one to go to the other person and say what is happening, that would be a special circumstance. However, if they try to bring it to my home or around me there would be a problem, I would absolutely say something to him/her and the other person. If my home I would have them leave, if not my home I would leave. If we accept this and tolerate this behavior these behaviors continue.
Those that cheat always have reasons, none are good enough to be acceptable. This is an issue I see more and more as I get older, not necessarily with my age but in general.
Now, some phycologists say that friends should act in a more appropriate way:
1. Listen but don’t react at first.
2. Don’t take it personally.
3. Be honest.
4. Don’t insert your own personal ideas.
5. Decide your level of involvement, then step back when needed
So the bottom line for the psychologists is to listen to the reasons, not get involved to where it takes on a life of it’s own and makes you involved to a way it hurts you and makes you a gate keeper of secrets.
Bottom line of this post, I have listened for years, it has been one way then the other. It is a broken record and if the person is so needed for a person’s body then don’t say another thing to me. I will now take it personally because I have been brought into this drama, I am completely honest, and my personal ideas keep me from going crazy. Finally, stepping out of it saves me from screaming.