Cranial Aneurysm’s?

Headache after headache and crashing wave over crashing waves, these can be a sign of a migraine or worse yet a cranial aneurysm.

This week I was put on a roller coaster of pain and I didn’t know how to jump off the boat. After the 2nd thunder clap headache in the past 6 months, with no previous history I was worried something was going wrong. I called my insurances nurse line, I would like to say don’t just go with someone over the phone, make decisions based on your symptoms.I decided I would head off to work and by the end of that day I ended up in the local emergency care hospital. This place had more than a regular urgent care, this place was able to give me a CT scan and a lumbar spinal tap. These tests determined I have a cranial aneurysm that had not burst.

With these two tests and about 8 hours later I was sent home given forms to call and make an appointment.

This in itself was a complete headache as the appointment settlers refused to make an appointment with the neurosurgeon until my documents, which I had in my hands was faxed to their office. Needless to say with the lack of sleep I decided to see my primary physician.

At this point I had 2 appointments with two different neurosurgeon all weeks later. Decided must not be that serious so off I end t to work. Work is an hour away from my home so I was met with a lot of concern from fellow employees and director. It took just 2 hours for me to realize it was a big mistake and I should have pushed harder to be seen.

I end up back on my side of town with a migraine from hell, and a packed ER. It was almost 10 hours on a bed in the hallway until I was moved to a room. A liquid dose of migraine cocktail to take the edge off. At no point was it completely gone but it helped me through the night.

The next day I was met by a renowned neurosurgeon that was brought to my city. He did an angiogram through my grown to find the aneurysm and see if it can be coiled (a technique that blocks the bubble). After the procedure I was in a lot of pain with my groin, at the point of the procedure (surgical opening). The doctor has decided that due to the location and size he was not going to coil the aneurysm but will have me seen ever 3 months to determine if it will continue to grow or if he can leave it. His main concern was a rupture.

With all of this information and my headaches still there we have chosen a regiment of medication that will eliminate most of the headache. At this point I have been told to eliminate undo stress, eat healthier, and not do any exercises that would put strain on my brain. All of this is something I should have already been doing but not worked on. Now it is a choice of life or possible death, never thought it would come down to a 3mm cranial aneurysm.

For everyone who might be going through constant headaches don’t let others determine what you feel or what you have, get more than one opinion it could be a matter of life or death.

Can you do things alone?

I would love to say that I am able to jump in my car head over to a restaurant eat a good meal, and then take in a good movie. Well I am not really that easy going. I find that I have issues with myself being in public where families, couples, friends all go.

When I was younger, I would look at single folks coming to functions as odd. How sad it would be to not have someone to enjoy things with. Now I am at the age of who gives a damn. I have started to see the flaws in my previous thoughts and when my friends couldn’t join me for a marathon over the weekend, I came up with reasons to get out of it. Then the day came for the race and I realized I will be alone at some point so push through it and go. I looked like a fish out of water as there were groups and some with another. Here I was looking out of place, but I push through. I had strangers take a couple of pictures so I could commemorate the event, realize I didn’t die, but thought it would have been a bit more fun with a friend or two. Next time. This is the first step to knowing I can go out and not feel so self-conscious, I will say I want to never be alone as a general choice.

Can we as humans live alone, no. Can we as humans be so needed that we can’t do one thing alone, I want to say no, I am sure some people feel this way. Let us all find a happy balance. Not being able to do things alone is as much of a problem as not wanting to be around other people. Either stance means you need to learn about yourself, how to enjoy others and yourself. I am comfortable in my own skin and being alone, I am now learning I don’t need to be with someone to go out and have fun, I don’t need to wait for another person to join me.

I will say I still enjoy company but won’t die if I do things out and about alone. I am and will always be a work in progress but in the meantime, I am going to do another 5k alone, if no one else can join. Enjoy finding your own company worth the time to work on.

Bed

When you have depression, bi-polar, PTSD, or any other issue that makes you unable to live it can be stressful and frustrating to others. No one can make the person get up and enjoy life, when it becomes a deep hole life passes you by.

This blog is to let everyone know that it isn’t them, it isn’t the things they are trying to do, it is the chemical or mental challenge that consumes the person living with the illness. They can be so very happy one minute and what ever the trigger they can turn around and become lethargic. They can be working or going to school and doing extremely well and the next minute they are calling out sick.

Anything that is going on with them needs to be viewed as an illness and that it can pass. Don’t just let the person live it alone and never peak in to see if they are okay, because sometimes these triggers can also lead to suicide. Be mindful, be caring, but don’t be irritated or frustrated.

On blurtitout.org the write talks a bit about it all We feel completely stuck. On blurtitout.org the write talks a bit about it all We feel completely stuck. There is nothing physically attaching us to our bed, but we feel completely unable to move. Our body can feel heavy and sluggish. Our limbs can ache, and no position feels comfortable but the thought of moving makes us want to cry. Our brains work incredibly slowly or stop working entirely. We can’t think. We can’t remember how to get up and get dressed. Everything feels overwhelming and impossible. The biggest thing anyone can do is let them know they are not alone and that they will not be abandoned.

Remember to Love Yourself First

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As we grow, we can fid it hard to remember who we are. Falling in love is always a wonderful thing but as we grow in our relationship, we give a part of our independence up. This is a great thing when they also give a piece of themselves up This doesn’t mean that either of us will be less than it means that what we give up is to make us better as a couple.

The moment that we forget who we are is when things go airy. Living for another person and no longer remembering who you are is a slippery slope. Have you ever found yourself allowing another be the leader in the relationship? Telling you what to do, how to act, who to see, what to say, or even blaming you for things when they do something wrong. Can we forgive for slights, I would say so, should we stay with someone that does this, I would say no. You are someone, if you believe in God, you were created to be someone. Remember that having a healthy relationship is not being co-dependent, if you become this way it could turn off a person that wants a joint relationship and it can bring others who want to control the relationship. Either way you would lose.

Bustle.com shows signs that you have started to or have lost yourself in a relationship.

1. You’ve Changed Your Opinions To Keep The Peace If something your partner says or does genuinely changes your mind, that’s totally fine. But if you’re less outspoken about a cause you care about around your partner or you’ve convinced yourself you have political, social, or moral views you really don’t, you could be sacrificing who you are, says Parker.

2. You’re Sacrificing Your Interests For Theirs It’s normal for people in a relationship to try to understand each other better by engaging in each other’s favorite activities. But ask yourself whether you’ve taken up their hobbies or researched their interests to understand them or to impress them.

3. Their Problems Bother You As If They Were Your Own It’s nice to sympathize with your partner when they’re down, but there’s a difference between feeling bad for them and just feeling bad. Don’t worry: you’re not a bad person for being happy when a loved one isn’t.

4. You Pass Up Opportunities For Them If you turn down your dream job offer because it would require you to live away from your partner, skip out on a trip with your friends because your partner can’t go, or stop going to your exercise classes because you now work out together, your relationship may be costing you other things that are important to you.

If you don’t have a strong and great relationship with yourself the relationship with another won’t be joint. Never allow another to take over, you must love yourself first. Sometimes when it becomes one sided many people end up seeing a professional. If this is something you need, I am always

Tinybuhdda.com has 8 reasons to not lose yourself in a relationship.

1. Establish a strong foundation while you are single.

2. Know who you are.

3. Have strong boundaries.

4. Have your own life.

5. Have your own friends.

6. Stay true to yourself.

7. Communicate openly.

8. Stop the over giving and accommodating.

Never shy away from another, don’t be alone for ever because you are worried just be diligent in reminding yourself you are worthy of being happy and being just as needed as you are giving of yourself.

Homeopathic Trends

Have you ever gone to the doctor, given a diagnosis, and sent off with a prescription? I have and each time I wonder why, there must be a new way, a different way, something that won’t cause side effects. When I was a young teen, I had several kidney infections and after multiple doctor visits my mother went to a homeopathic store and came home with a bottle of acidophilus which after a few weeks stopped the infections and created a Ph balance back in my system.

Today I learned about a technique of going barefoot to absorb the earth with the technique of Grounding.

Grounding (Earthing) is a reconnection with the Earth’s electrons has been found to promote intriguing physiological changes and subjective reports of well-being. Earthing (or grounding) refers to the discovery of benefits—including better sleep and reduced pain—from walking barefoot outside or sitting, working, or sleeping indoors connected to conductive systems that transfer the Earth’s electrons from the ground into the body (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3265077/).

With the alignments that I have had I believe that grounding can help with my fatigue, aches and pains, and overall mood. As I try this daily, I will be excited to see these changes.

On the website medicalnewstoday.com discusses how depression can be changed with herbal remedies. Depression is a serious mood disorder with symptoms that range from mild to debilitating and potentially life-threatening. Some people look to manage depression with herbal remedies, rather than with medication a doctor prescribes. The use of complementary therapies continues to gain popularity, as people look for more natural methods of managing their health. However, herbal does not always mean safe or effective, and knowing which products to choose can save a lot of time and money.

Medical News Today writes about 6 herbs that can help, with the understanding that the FDA has not recognized these herbs as approved over the drugs provided by the medical and pharmacy fields.

1. St. John’s wort

St. John’s wort is also known as Hypericum perforatum. This plant has been a common herbal mental health treatment for hundreds of years. However, people must use caution if they chose to try it as a potential treatment for depression. A 2016 systematic review found that St. John’s wort was more effective than a placebo for treating mild to moderate depression and worked almost as well as antidepressant medications. However, this review of eligible studies did not find research on the long-term effects of St. John’s wort on severe depression. The authors also advised caution against accepting the results wholesale, as the herb has adverse effects that many of the studies did not consider. St John’s wort can also interfere with the effects of antidepressant medication, meaning that it may make symptoms worse or reduce the effectiveness of conventional treatment. While St. John’s wort might help some people, it does not show consistently beneficial effects. For these reasons, people should not use St. John’s wort instead of conventional treatment. Neither should they try St. John’s wort to treat moderate to severe depression.

2. Ginseng

This supplement comes from the gnarled root of the American or Asian ginseng plant. Siberian, Asian, and Eleuthero ginseng are different plants with different active ingredients. Practitioners of Chinese medicine have used ginseng for thousands of years to help people improve mental clarity and energy and reduce the effects of stress. Some people associate these properties of ginseng with potential solutions for the low energy and motivation that can occur with depression. However, the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH) advise that none of the many studies that people have conducted on ginseng have been of sufficient quality to form health recommendations.

3. Chamomile

A study in 2012 reviewed data about chamomile, which comes from the Matricaria recutita plant, and its role in helping to manage depression and anxiety. The results show that chamomile produced more significant relief from depressive symptoms than a placebo. However, further studies are necessary to confirm the health benefits of chamomile in treating depressive symptoms.

4. Lavender

Lavender oil is a popular essential oil. People typically use lavender oil for relaxation and reducing anxiety and mood disturbances. A 2013 review of various studies suggested that lavender might have significant potential in reducing anxiety and improving sleep. Lavender has mixed results in studies that assess its impact on anxiety. However, its effectiveness as a treatment for ongoing depression has little high-quality evidence in support at the current time.

5. Saffron

Some studies cite using saffron as a safe and effective measure for controlling the symptoms of depression, such as this non-systematic review from 2018. However, more research would help confirm the possible benefits of saffron for people with depression. Scientists also need to understand any possible adverse effects better.

6. SAMe

Some supplements have shown promising effects on depression symptoms. However, many investigations confirming their benefits are low quality. SAMe is short for S-adenosyl methionine. It is a synthetic form of a chemical that occurs naturally in the body. In 2016, researchers reviewed all the randomized controlled trials on record for the use of SAMe to treat depression in adults. They found no significant difference between the effects of SAMe on depression symptoms and those of a placebo. However, they also found that SAMe had about the same effectiveness as the common antidepressant’s imipramine or escitalopram. Furthermore, it was better than a placebo when the researchers mixed SAMe with selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor medications. As with many other studies into herbs and supplements, the investigations into the safety and efficacy of SAMe are of low quality. More research is necessary to determine its exact effect. People use the supplement in Europe as a prescription antidepressant. However, the FDA have not yet approved this for use in the U.S.

With the information that I have found, it is important to listen to more than one source, I would be careful of removing any prescribed medications before consulting with your physician. It is your body, and because of this you need to make choices that won’t create more problems but having a second or third opinion is a smart option.

When to Turn Off the Television and Other Devices

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The idea of watching the TV for hours can become a strain on a person’s eyes, a play on their psyche, and can create a less energetic person. The generation now watches more television than ever before. I wonder how much of my generation helped with this.

I remember when my kids were young, they did watch television, but I also tried to make sure they experienced other things; sports, trips, nature, zoo’s, and things I thought would make them more rounded. As they grew the more television, we all watched. They are young adults and it is impossible to get my son to come up for air, and my grandson, who is 4, asks for his tablet on a regular basis. I think about how our world has changed, when I was a child and into my teens I didn’t think to sit down and watch television, I was into playing outside and being around friends. I also understand that the idea of human trafficking wasn’t as rampant as it is today. Does it mean kids should be kept inside? I would have to say no, this is the wrong stance. I can say that my health, my age, and my not making friends as I used to, causes me to watch more television.

Reality though, is that if I force myself out than I can help my health, slow down my aging, and create the ability to meet more people. If my grandson was given his tablet less, his television turned off, and taken out more often he wouldn’t miss the brain numbing tools. What can I do, what can families do, and what as a generation raised by television do? I say take less time in front of a television, smart phone, tablet, and computer and let the breeze blow on your face.

I have made sure that every weekend I find a chore of some type take up my day, today was making cookies, cleaning, and going through all of my tools. To think I am a female and I love tools. This to is a change in the generations. I would rather buy a new tool than go get my nails done, however I am still as much of a woman as any other.

Finally, many health concerns can come about by utilizing all these visual aids, it causes less connection from a person to another, not creating memories, lack of exercise, less brain activity, and finally problems with their eyes. So what do you think you can do to help change the next generation?

Night Terrors

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Night terrors for myself are simple defined as a man who tries to kill me. His face is blurry, no true features are created. He is always trying to get close and wanting to not just hurt me but kill me. Last night after many years I couldn’t move as I dreamed of this blurry figure. The side of his face and head pushes hard against mine. The more he presses the more pain I feel against my head as a strong migraine that is screaming with pain starts to come about. As I feel my head trying to explode, he is pushing hard with anger and distain. I feel pain in my neck and all I can feel now is his hot breath speaking on how he is going to kill me. I want to wake up, but he won’t let me go and all I can do is cry and beg for my life. I jump out of the dream with fear and a pounding headache. No, the fear rises, and I jump out of bed looking around in my closet, behind doors and under the bed. No, he is not here. This occurred for several years and without a reason it stopped but now he is back. Back with a vengeance letting me know he will never go away.

What causes these? These came about after two Army men tried to kill me in Tacoma, Washington. I will never forget the act, but I thought I would get through the PTSD.

Interesting how a trigger can set you off. I don’t even know what triggered me yesterday, how I thought I was going to get through this without much harm to my psyche. Didn’t realize I was going to live with this fear for the rest of my life. After counseling trying to stay away from what I thought were triggers, I realize it will never go away.

If you want to understand why you might have these terrors I can first tell you to find a counselor that can walk you through the trauma, second know that they might come back from time to time, but they are just that dreams. All I can say is breath through the horror, if you are at all religious pray that you will get through the dreams.

Misunderstood

Do you, like myself, feel you are misunderstood? I want to use the term feel because we base this type of word through feelings not fact. I believe the way I am as a person, people at work and in my personal life don’t truly understand me. This is for family, friends, and coworkers. They might not a piece of me but about 70% of the time I am told I am one way, but I feel a different.

An example with family, is thinking I am mad about something, but I am disappointed because I am not clear, or they are not hearing me. Which really is I being not clear. Working on the way I speak toward others is a constant struggle. I guess I could say I am self-aware of how I can be or come across, but my internal struggle makes it hard for me to show others.

I get the responses of how I am not quite, how I hold a grudge, how I am vocal, and speak all the time. Reality, I try to wait to speak, I am always in my head waiting to speak after others, and I try to speak up when it comes to others or I disagree with someone. When I try to say nothing, others think I am mad or dislike someone, when I speak up people say I am impulsive or rude. At this point I am not sure how to talk about what I want or how I can speak to others without the negative results. Being self-aware doesn’t mean I have fixed the things that can help other understand where I am coming from.

Taking on leadership plan with my supervisor, listen to audio books on how to communicate, and try to change some of my behaviors can help bring others to me. I don’t think everyone needs to understand me and I need to change, I believe success is when both sides communicate better so both sides don’t feel like they are being run over.

On the website onewithnow.com there is a section on how to move past being misunderstood, these ways can work in business and personal life. How do you move past being misunderstood?

After processing my findings above, I came up with the following pointers. I hope you find them beneficial.

1. You have the right to respond but not the obligation. You always have the right to express your opinion and discuss an issue further. But only if it serves a purpose and helps you move forward. You also have the right not to engage and not respond at all.

2. Others’ views of your opinions don’t diminish your worth. You are who you are and you’re entitled to your thoughts and views. Your opinions are not who you are. They are the position you hold at this moment, which may change subsequently.

3. It’s okay to be misunderstood. The newspapers and tabloids thrive on misquoting and manipulating words. In our daily interactions, others will take what they’ll take from the conversations. There is nothing you can do about it. And if they don’t like what you have to say, so be it.

4. Feel the emotions without rationalization. As much as we’d like to think that we humans are a rational species, we are not. We’re highly emotional and a lot of what we say or do is driven by emotions. You can waste all the time in the world trying to understand why someone misconstrued what you said. In all likelihood, what you expressed triggered a defensive response in them. It has nothing to do with you. So focus on how you feel. Also, realize the more important the person to you, the higher the emotional charge. Don’t try to argue with how you feel. You may feel angry, upset, fearful, disappointed, hurt, betrayed or any other emotion. Allow—feel and then feel some more. Write about your feelings; meditate on them, or just sit quietly and allow them to go through you. Take your time—there is no shortcut for releasing your emotions.

5. Write an imaginary response. If you feel you need to express more of your thoughts and feelings write them in a letter. What would you say to the person who you feel wronged you? Write what you would want to tell them and how the interaction made you feel. There is an amazing release that comes from putting thoughts and words to paper. This is what I did and I felt much better after.

6. Sleep on it. If you decide you want to respond and you want to discuss the issue further, don’t do it right away. Think about what you want to say and maybe even draft a response as mentioned above. Give yourself a few days. You will be surprised by how fast you may cool off and change your mind. In all likelihood, you will dismiss the issue and move on. For me I decided the best approach was not to send a response. Later I talked to my friend and we never mentioned taxes. It worked out.

7. Let it go. After all is said and done, let the whole issue go. Don’t hold a grudge or keep bringing it up. You don’t want to add fuel to a fire in your heart. If the other person was not happy with your decision, it’s their problem not yours. You cannot satisfy someone who is adamant about having an argument. Do yourself a big favor and don’t engage in further discussion. Sometimes the best opinions are the ones that remain unexpressed. You know who you are and what you stand for. Instead of engaging in trying to explain and validate your opinions, move on and do something that is more meaningful to you.

Letting go is freedom. You can’t force anyone to see your point of view. However, you can drop the issue and let go. It’s always in your hands.

We each need to trust our own internal feelings but on the same token we need to step back and make sure what we say is on point. Listen more, speak less, and create an easier way to communicate. Again, I am a work in progress and no matter my age I believe I will always be a work in progress.

Are You Struggling?

Are you struggling throughout the day? Do you find that you can’t get up and be a motivated human? Is your body or mind struggling in every day to day tasks? Today, I have another migraine driving me to not get up and exercise, because of this I am depressed about who I am, what I am or am not doing, and I feel my body growing and I am uncomfortable.

I sit and think about what I should be doing, that I no longer want to go out and be with friends on the weekend. Everything that we do as humans is to grow and be connected to others, when I am this way, I make it to work and a few words to the kids, but other than that I am in solitude. I know this isn’t healthy and I know that I can do better. All I want to do is jump up and be happy, get on the phone and call my friends. Who should I call? I really have no idea because I have created a cocoon around myself so I can’t be hurt by anyone. This creates a cycle of depression.

Some days are great but then after a while I do it all over again. The worst part about the seclusion is gaining migraines and the weight. If you to are struggling, find a way to do one thing a day. Every day move to have another thing. Day 1 do one thing, day 2 do two things, and so on. For Day 1 I have decided to make cookies. That sounds great, right? After 2 different types and a couple of hours later, I am staring at bags of cookies. 4 bags to be exact. I made almost 100 cookies and have only 1 grandson who is able to eat cookies. Looks like my kids will be munching down on cookies too. I end up eating cookie dough as I cook, just like I can plop a piece of raw potato in my mouth when it comes to making mashed potatoes. All this cooking sounds great, but now I am even more bloated than I was when I walked into the kitchen.

To answer my posing question, yes, I am struggling.

Single?

I have been single since 2016. I don’t think I am making the effort to fix the situation. I am not sure if I am locked down emotionally, making myself accessible to meet someone, and willing to become a couple. Living single for 3 years creates a self-sufficient person but to what extent? Is this the best way to be? I watch couples get together and fail after a year or many years. I watch the scenarios and when I start to feel I can open and start to talk with someone I can shut them down the moment I am uncomfortable or feel as though I am chasing someone. I have tried online dating and end it every time I become exhausted. Months later I tell myself try again but wonder what the reward will be and what type of effort or behavior I should have.

I had in my earlier days found myself feeling sexual and wanting to be with someone. Then I realize I don’t want to have a relationship anymore. I realize that I am not feeling up to give a relationship effort. I try but realize I am pushing the person away. I believe it is I am wanting to feel wanted not just sexual but emotionally. I feel that because I get into a relationship with sexual desire, I realize I put my feelings and heart before my head. When this is the case, most relationships, I then realize they aren’t right for me, I can’t trust them, and I had to leave the relationship.

The hardest part about this is that I leave the relationship with hurt feelings and put everything in a box. The unfortunate thing is the box doesn’t reopen and doesn’t get resolved. I have a dozen boxes in my brain that has never been resolved. I have the ability to retreat as a way to hide my feelings, whether it is happiness, sadness, or anger. I am happy unless I am treated with a lack of caring, being cheated on, or if a man tries to out power me. Sadness comes when I put in an amount of time to only become disappointed. The anger comes up when I am cheated on. That is when I end it and have a hard time letting go and move on. I think rather than trying to work out the problems.

I put a wall not as a primary solution but to not be vulnerable. It is easier to hold back and withdrawal than it is to open up and fix the relationship. It could be because my parents were married for over 60 years, or my mother not speaking to me when I got a divorce from my husband, who at the time was cheating. I don’t feel I can deal with a man, but I know that won’t work when it comes to being happy and open with another man. But I either open and find my way or not just be disappointed by a man but be disappointed by myself for not letting someone in. Bottom line, being single can be a choice but a harder choice is having faith to be with someone new and seeing where it goes.