I Can Do It On My Own

Doesn’t matter the age, many humans want to do it on our own. I might be 54 but at times feel like I am being treated like I am 84, my grandson who is almost 4 hates being treated like he is 2, and my 24-year-old doesn’t want to be questioned about her choices. Can you relate? It begins when I tell my grandson what to wear for the day and he gets upset and says, “No, I can do it on my own”. Well, that is true he can, and he did. It might not have been my choice, but it is better to let him learn about what he likes and doesn’t, allowing him to show off his individuality.  Letting a child be their own person is noted in psychologytoday.com: If your children are independent, you have provided them with the belief that they are competent and capable of taking care of themselves. You offered them the guidance to find activities that are meaningful and satisfying. You gave your children the freedom to experience life fully and learn its many important lessons.

My daughter fights my recommendations, that is if she even asks, and she has distain when I tell her to do something in a different way. Therefore, she is ready to move out on her own. The aggravation for us both is she is ready, I have rules, a lady her age is no longer wanting to deal with them. What is the middle ground? Her moving out with her fiancé and two boys will make her a stronger and more self-reliant lady, while I start to take over my home again as mine and keeping it clean the way I want it done. There are articles and information to help those wanting to move out understand what is needed, Rent.com notes:  living with your parents should have given you some practice for the real world – or at least some time to save up some money if they weren’t asking for your financial contribution. Even if you were paying rent, at least you were developing good habits for being on your own when the time came. Now that you’ve decided it is time to move out, make sure you have a plan! It isn’t smart to jump into adulthood when you’ve obviously spent extra time in the nest.

Finally, as a 54 female my doctors remind me all the time of what I need to do, when I need to do it, and how much I need to do. I will not say I am happy with this and I tend to fight every step of the way. At some point no matter the age we are all driven to be who we want to be and how much independence we try to keep. WebMd.com noted the difference in what a doctor says and what a patient thinks: a recent study found that 75% of doctors believed that they communicated satisfactorily with those in their care. Only 21% of the people treated by those doctors said that their talks went well.

At the end of the day humans need to be self-reliant it is up to parents to allow kids to make decisions as they grow up, allow young adults the ability to become self-sufficient, and with elderly life giving them the ability to grow with grace and letting their thoughts and ideas to be heard.

I am getting older but not necessarily wiser.

   Why is it when I turn 54, I suddenly can’t remember anything, can’t see why I am unable to get motivated enough to get on the treadmill, and I am binge watching Netflix? But I did vacuum the house, did the laundry, and got the dishes done. I sit here contemplating what I want to say today and if I can remember it by the time I am done. I have taken a deep breath looked inside myself, metaphorically course, to figure out why I am more alone than I ever thought I would be in such a big house basically alone. I have my son of course who seems to still be a teen even though he is now 20 up in his room on his x-box and my daughter out with her baby boys on a day trip.

I am pondering why I have put myself here. Well, I think it is a combination of depression that comes and goes in waves, having lived a life of out of sight out of mind, or the reality that I am possibly as lazy as my kids. Seriously that is lazy, as lazy goes. 

I need to take my own advice and think things through and get the energy to get back into the life of my old self. A friend of mine explain that she read somewhere that when a situation happens in your life that doesn’t make you happy, you should ask yourself what part of this situation you played a part in. It stuck with her and it surely stuck with me. Taking everything into account, lazy, alone, a chunky monkey, and not happy with this situation I have asked and realized I need to reconnect with friends, be open to see more in life, continue on this path we call blogging, writing on my pages for mental and physical wellness.

I remember when I was in Germany, I was always curious about what things were I believe we lose this as we grow older, not because our body removes it, but because we let life hang on us. I am going to take this 54-year-old body and mind and put myself back to my child mindset and become curious again. Become reconnected to people and things I like and care about. The other think I want to do is take myself back to the doctor and start to turn some of the clock back.

Wish me luck, until next time.