Remember to Love Yourself First

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As we grow, we can fid it hard to remember who we are. Falling in love is always a wonderful thing but as we grow in our relationship, we give a part of our independence up. This is a great thing when they also give a piece of themselves up This doesn’t mean that either of us will be less than it means that what we give up is to make us better as a couple.

The moment that we forget who we are is when things go airy. Living for another person and no longer remembering who you are is a slippery slope. Have you ever found yourself allowing another be the leader in the relationship? Telling you what to do, how to act, who to see, what to say, or even blaming you for things when they do something wrong. Can we forgive for slights, I would say so, should we stay with someone that does this, I would say no. You are someone, if you believe in God, you were created to be someone. Remember that having a healthy relationship is not being co-dependent, if you become this way it could turn off a person that wants a joint relationship and it can bring others who want to control the relationship. Either way you would lose.

Bustle.com shows signs that you have started to or have lost yourself in a relationship.

1. You’ve Changed Your Opinions To Keep The Peace If something your partner says or does genuinely changes your mind, that’s totally fine. But if you’re less outspoken about a cause you care about around your partner or you’ve convinced yourself you have political, social, or moral views you really don’t, you could be sacrificing who you are, says Parker.

2. You’re Sacrificing Your Interests For Theirs It’s normal for people in a relationship to try to understand each other better by engaging in each other’s favorite activities. But ask yourself whether you’ve taken up their hobbies or researched their interests to understand them or to impress them.

3. Their Problems Bother You As If They Were Your Own It’s nice to sympathize with your partner when they’re down, but there’s a difference between feeling bad for them and just feeling bad. Don’t worry: you’re not a bad person for being happy when a loved one isn’t.

4. You Pass Up Opportunities For Them If you turn down your dream job offer because it would require you to live away from your partner, skip out on a trip with your friends because your partner can’t go, or stop going to your exercise classes because you now work out together, your relationship may be costing you other things that are important to you.

If you don’t have a strong and great relationship with yourself the relationship with another won’t be joint. Never allow another to take over, you must love yourself first. Sometimes when it becomes one sided many people end up seeing a professional. If this is something you need, I am always

Tinybuhdda.com has 8 reasons to not lose yourself in a relationship.

1. Establish a strong foundation while you are single.

2. Know who you are.

3. Have strong boundaries.

4. Have your own life.

5. Have your own friends.

6. Stay true to yourself.

7. Communicate openly.

8. Stop the over giving and accommodating.

Never shy away from another, don’t be alone for ever because you are worried just be diligent in reminding yourself you are worthy of being happy and being just as needed as you are giving of yourself.

Creating Joy in the Workplace

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At my current employer I have a group of 7 that I lead. This means that I help, train, guide, coach, and be a cheerleader for them. I am very happy to have my career and even happier to have those that are willing to give me their best day in and day out. As with most organizations grow and transform, we are asked to transform and bend. This is how companies survive market trends and changes that are created around the world. My team, even when I push, have been willing to grow.

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I was excited that I was able to hold a team huddle to express how they are doing, how excited I am to see their growth, and just how grateful I am to be apart of the transition.  They were able to do more than the previous weeks and it was showing. When the Director was walking by and I explained how excited I was for my team and she was just as excited. We will continue to show our commitment and it can get so much better. .

When employees hear do this and do that on a regular basis and not understanding the reasons it can feel disheartening, even thought that is not what the leaders are trying to do or show. We can as leaders have so much on our plates we can get lost in the weeds and the people we work with can become exhausted and less than. I believe it is important to thank those you are demanding so much from. As the team lead, I can do a small amount and our management teams acknowledgement goes much further.

No matter where you in your career, no matter where you are in your personal life, giving back to those around you with kind words and gestures can go so far and do so much for everyone.

It has taken me a long time to find a way to work with different personalities and at the end of each day know we have taken steps forward to create a stronger team.

Creating a life of joy

Feelings can be a fickle thing, boy oh boy mine make it a habit to be as fickle as they come. I mean really I laugh at the silliest things that others raise an eyebrow. I mean watch out if I trip over the carpet I might pee my pants but tell a joke that others are laughing hysterically, probably won’t hear a chuckle. The joy I create is a bit of the odd duck syndrome. Loving my differences takes a lot but it is my joy

I am trying to achieve. I think letting another decide my joy and when I should bust a gut just isn’t going to ever be me. Is it my past? Could it be my life’s trials and tribulations? Naw, it is because I have never been a person that fits into the box. If I don’t challenge the status quo I wouldn’t be me. Creating my joy is just that my joy! I say be who you want to be… wear those polka-a-dotted rain boots and run throttle puddles, it’s okay to be a bit goofy, crazy, and funny!