When you have depression, bi-polar, PTSD, or any other issue that makes you unable to live it can be stressful and frustrating to others. No one can make the person get up and enjoy life, when it becomes a deep hole life passes you by.

This blog is to let everyone know that it isn’t them, it isn’t the things they are trying to do, it is the chemical or mental challenge that consumes the person living with the illness. They can be so very happy one minute and what ever the trigger they can turn around and become lethargic. They can be working or going to school and doing extremely well and the next minute they are calling out sick.

Anything that is going on with them needs to be viewed as an illness and that it can pass. Don’t just let the person live it alone and never peak in to see if they are okay, because sometimes these triggers can also lead to suicide. Be mindful, be caring, but don’t be irritated or frustrated.

On the write talks a bit about it all We feel completely stuck. On the write talks a bit about it all We feel completely stuck. There is nothing physically attaching us to our bed, but we feel completely unable to move. Our body can feel heavy and sluggish. Our limbs can ache, and no position feels comfortable but the thought of moving makes us want to cry. Our brains work incredibly slowly or stop working entirely. We can’t think. We can’t remember how to get up and get dressed. Everything feels overwhelming and impossible. The biggest thing anyone can do is let them know they are not alone and that they will not be abandoned.

Homeopathic Trends

Have you ever gone to the doctor, given a diagnosis, and sent off with a prescription? I have and each time I wonder why, there must be a new way, a different way, something that won’t cause side effects. When I was a young teen, I had several kidney infections and after multiple doctor visits my mother went to a homeopathic store and came home with a bottle of acidophilus which after a few weeks stopped the infections and created a Ph balance back in my system.

Today I learned about a technique of going barefoot to absorb the earth with the technique of Grounding.

Grounding (Earthing) is a reconnection with the Earth’s electrons has been found to promote intriguing physiological changes and subjective reports of well-being. Earthing (or grounding) refers to the discovery of benefits—including better sleep and reduced pain—from walking barefoot outside or sitting, working, or sleeping indoors connected to conductive systems that transfer the Earth’s electrons from the ground into the body (

With the alignments that I have had I believe that grounding can help with my fatigue, aches and pains, and overall mood. As I try this daily, I will be excited to see these changes.

On the website discusses how depression can be changed with herbal remedies. Depression is a serious mood disorder with symptoms that range from mild to debilitating and potentially life-threatening. Some people look to manage depression with herbal remedies, rather than with medication a doctor prescribes. The use of complementary therapies continues to gain popularity, as people look for more natural methods of managing their health. However, herbal does not always mean safe or effective, and knowing which products to choose can save a lot of time and money.

Medical News Today writes about 6 herbs that can help, with the understanding that the FDA has not recognized these herbs as approved over the drugs provided by the medical and pharmacy fields.

1. St. John’s wort

St. John’s wort is also known as Hypericum perforatum. This plant has been a common herbal mental health treatment for hundreds of years. However, people must use caution if they chose to try it as a potential treatment for depression. A 2016 systematic review found that St. John’s wort was more effective than a placebo for treating mild to moderate depression and worked almost as well as antidepressant medications. However, this review of eligible studies did not find research on the long-term effects of St. John’s wort on severe depression. The authors also advised caution against accepting the results wholesale, as the herb has adverse effects that many of the studies did not consider. St John’s wort can also interfere with the effects of antidepressant medication, meaning that it may make symptoms worse or reduce the effectiveness of conventional treatment. While St. John’s wort might help some people, it does not show consistently beneficial effects. For these reasons, people should not use St. John’s wort instead of conventional treatment. Neither should they try St. John’s wort to treat moderate to severe depression.

2. Ginseng

This supplement comes from the gnarled root of the American or Asian ginseng plant. Siberian, Asian, and Eleuthero ginseng are different plants with different active ingredients. Practitioners of Chinese medicine have used ginseng for thousands of years to help people improve mental clarity and energy and reduce the effects of stress. Some people associate these properties of ginseng with potential solutions for the low energy and motivation that can occur with depression. However, the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH) advise that none of the many studies that people have conducted on ginseng have been of sufficient quality to form health recommendations.

3. Chamomile

A study in 2012 reviewed data about chamomile, which comes from the Matricaria recutita plant, and its role in helping to manage depression and anxiety. The results show that chamomile produced more significant relief from depressive symptoms than a placebo. However, further studies are necessary to confirm the health benefits of chamomile in treating depressive symptoms.

4. Lavender

Lavender oil is a popular essential oil. People typically use lavender oil for relaxation and reducing anxiety and mood disturbances. A 2013 review of various studies suggested that lavender might have significant potential in reducing anxiety and improving sleep. Lavender has mixed results in studies that assess its impact on anxiety. However, its effectiveness as a treatment for ongoing depression has little high-quality evidence in support at the current time.

5. Saffron

Some studies cite using saffron as a safe and effective measure for controlling the symptoms of depression, such as this non-systematic review from 2018. However, more research would help confirm the possible benefits of saffron for people with depression. Scientists also need to understand any possible adverse effects better.

6. SAMe

Some supplements have shown promising effects on depression symptoms. However, many investigations confirming their benefits are low quality. SAMe is short for S-adenosyl methionine. It is a synthetic form of a chemical that occurs naturally in the body. In 2016, researchers reviewed all the randomized controlled trials on record for the use of SAMe to treat depression in adults. They found no significant difference between the effects of SAMe on depression symptoms and those of a placebo. However, they also found that SAMe had about the same effectiveness as the common antidepressant’s imipramine or escitalopram. Furthermore, it was better than a placebo when the researchers mixed SAMe with selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor medications. As with many other studies into herbs and supplements, the investigations into the safety and efficacy of SAMe are of low quality. More research is necessary to determine its exact effect. People use the supplement in Europe as a prescription antidepressant. However, the FDA have not yet approved this for use in the U.S.

With the information that I have found, it is important to listen to more than one source, I would be careful of removing any prescribed medications before consulting with your physician. It is your body, and because of this you need to make choices that won’t create more problems but having a second or third opinion is a smart option.

When to Turn Off the Television and Other Devices

Photo by Anurag Sharma on

The idea of watching the TV for hours can become a strain on a person’s eyes, a play on their psyche, and can create a less energetic person. The generation now watches more television than ever before. I wonder how much of my generation helped with this.

I remember when my kids were young, they did watch television, but I also tried to make sure they experienced other things; sports, trips, nature, zoo’s, and things I thought would make them more rounded. As they grew the more television, we all watched. They are young adults and it is impossible to get my son to come up for air, and my grandson, who is 4, asks for his tablet on a regular basis. I think about how our world has changed, when I was a child and into my teens I didn’t think to sit down and watch television, I was into playing outside and being around friends. I also understand that the idea of human trafficking wasn’t as rampant as it is today. Does it mean kids should be kept inside? I would have to say no, this is the wrong stance. I can say that my health, my age, and my not making friends as I used to, causes me to watch more television.

Reality though, is that if I force myself out than I can help my health, slow down my aging, and create the ability to meet more people. If my grandson was given his tablet less, his television turned off, and taken out more often he wouldn’t miss the brain numbing tools. What can I do, what can families do, and what as a generation raised by television do? I say take less time in front of a television, smart phone, tablet, and computer and let the breeze blow on your face.

I have made sure that every weekend I find a chore of some type take up my day, today was making cookies, cleaning, and going through all of my tools. To think I am a female and I love tools. This to is a change in the generations. I would rather buy a new tool than go get my nails done, however I am still as much of a woman as any other.

Finally, many health concerns can come about by utilizing all these visual aids, it causes less connection from a person to another, not creating memories, lack of exercise, less brain activity, and finally problems with their eyes. So what do you think you can do to help change the next generation?

Teens and Smoking

When I was in my teens, I tried a cigarette and was not enticed to do it again. Many of my friends continued to smoke. About a quarter of these individuals are still smoking cigarettes today, 30+ years later. Since the 80’s many doctors and law makers have been creating ads, school lectures, and visits to try and slow down the number of teens taking up cigarettes. The new problem facing teens is flavored vap juice. The beginning of vap juice had many thinking this would be the better choice over cigarettes, not seeing the issues it would create.

Teens lungs and decision-making skills are still being developed. The more they are told not to smoke they push back and want to do it more. A teen is more apt to do what their friends are doing creating a stronger need to pick up a vap pen or a cigarette. Both still causing issues. As more individuals end up in hospitals and doctor offices with lung issues. At this point New York is in the midst of banning flavored juice documenting the damage it is doing to individuals and not having enough data to keep the product on the shelves. These types of bans can ruin the industry. I personally don’t believe the vap juice should be on the market and when it came out I couldn’t understand why people thought it wouldn’t hurt their lungs.

I am glad to see the changes are coming early in the process. I also and very confused as to wanting this item removed but cigarettes are still going strong. The Wall Street Journal has written about the ban, how it is affecting the shop owners, and why the government is willing to stop the sales.

Hundreds of vape shops across New York are scrambling after state health officials last week issued an emergency regulation temporarily banning the sale of flavored electronic cigarettes and nicotine e-liquids. 

The Wall Street Journal Menthol and tobacco-flavored products are still permitted, but store owners now have to stop selling all the other flavors by Oct. 4, or face stiff fines. Public-health officials will also soon consider adding menthol flavors to the ban. On Wednesday, a trade group representing business owners who sell vaping products in New York sued Gov. Andrew Cuomo and the state Department of Health, seeking to halt the enforcement of the emergency regulation and asking for it to be annulled because it is “in excess of their constitutional, statutory and administrative authority.” “Our children’s future is at stake. Bring it on,” said a spokesman for Mr. Cuomo.

The ban comes amid a rash of vaping-related illnesses and eight U.S. deaths. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has urged people to stop vaping. It says some people were sickened from vaping a marijuana ingredient called THC, though others were vaping only nicotine products. State health officials said they approved the ban to stem rising rates of e-cigarette use among children. During a radio interview Tuesday, Mr. Cuomo said he would meet with officials in Connecticut and New Jersey to create a regional strategy on vaping products and marijuana.

I hope the ban continues to grow to other states and then start to make a change with cigarettes. We need to watch our children’s health and yes teenagers are still our responsibility to make sure they are making solid decisions.

Suicide Watch Is Always Needed

It can happen to anyone; happy, sad, medicated legally or illegally, or being bullied. Do you know what to look for? I remember the first time I was affected by suicide; I was a freshman and a boy in our class shot himself in his family’s barn. That was just the beginning and didn’t think I would ever be touched by suicide. As the years pass, I found myself touched through family, friends, co-workers, and celebrities. Why does this happen? What are people thinking when they try or commit suicide? For me, it was depression. I was able to pick up the phone and call my dad and then a friend. I realized I was lucky to make the decision to call my dad. So many others are not. We want to be mad at them, we cry and can’t wrap our heads around it. Some people leave notes and letters, others do it through drugs and end up overdosing, thinking drugs will make it better.

You can learn more about why people try and do commit suicide. Alex Lickerman with Psychology Today gives 6 reasons why:

They’re depressed. This is, without question, the most common reason people die by suicide. Severe depression is almost always accompanied by a pervasive sense of suffering as well as the belief that escape from it is hopeless. The pain of existence often becomes too much for severely depressed people to bear. The state of depression warps their thinking, allowing ideas like, “Everyone would all be better off without me” to make rational sense. They shouldn’t be blamed for falling prey to such distorted thoughts any more than a heart patient should be blamed for experiencing chest pain; it’s simply the nature of their disease. Because depression, as we all know, is almost always treatable, we should all seek to recognize its presence in our close friends and loved ones. Often, people suffer with it silently, planning suicide without anyone ever knowing. Despite making both parties uncomfortable, inquiring directly about suicidal thoughts, in my experience, almost always yields an honest response. If you suspect someone might be depressed, don’t allow your tendency to deny the possibility of suicidal ideation prevent you from asking about it.

2.They’re psychotic. Malevolent inner voices often command self-destruction for unintelligible reasons. Psychosis is much harder to mask than depression, and is arguably even more tragic. The worldwide incidence of schizophrenia is 1 percent and often strikes otherwise healthy, high-performing individuals, whose lives, though manageable with medication, are often derailed from their original promise. Schizophrenics are just as likely to talk freely about the voices commanding them to kill themselves as not, and also, in my experience, give honest answers about thoughts of suicide when asked directly. Psychosis, too, is treatable, and usually must be treated for a schizophrenic to be able to function at all. Untreated or poorly treated psychosis almost always requires hospital admission until the voices lose their commanding power.

3.They’re impulsive. Often related to drugs and alcohol, some people become maudlin and impulsively attempt to end their own lives. Once sobered and calmed, these people usually feel emphatically ashamed. The remorse is often genuine, but whether or not they’ll ever attempt suicide again is unpredictable. They may try it again the very next time they become drunk or high, or never again in their lifetime. Hospital admission is, therefore, not usually indicated. Substance abuse and the underlying reasons for it are generally a greater concern in these people and should be addressed as aggressively as possible.

4.They’re crying out for help, and don’t know how else to get it. These people don’t usually want to die but do want to alert those around them that something is seriously wrong. They often don’t believe they will die, frequently choosing methods they don’t think can kill them in order to call attention to their challenges, but they are sometimes tragically misinformed. For instance, a young teenage girl suffering genuine angst because she feels lonely or has gotten into a devastating fight with her parents, may swallow a bottle of Tylenol—not realizing that in high enough doses, Tylenol causes irreversible liver damage. I’ve watched more than one teenager die a horrible death in an ICU days after such an ingestion when remorse has already cured them of their desire to die and their true goal of alerting those close to them of their distress has been achieved.

5.They have a philosophical desire to die. The decision to die by suicide for some is based on a reasoned decision, often motivated by the presence of a painful terminal illness from which little to no hope of reprieve exists. These people aren’t depressed, psychotic, maudlin, or crying out for help. They’re trying to take control of their destiny and alleviate their own suffering, which usually can only be done in death. They often look at their choice to die by suicide as a way to shorten a dying that will happen regardless. In my personal view, if such people are evaluated by a qualified professional who can reliably exclude the other possibilities for why suicide is desired, these people should be allowed to die at their own hands.

6.They’ve made a mistake. This is a recent, tragic phenomenon in which typically young people flirt with oxygen deprivation for the high it brings and simply go too far. The only defense against this, it seems to me, is education.

A way we can help is with the “Out of Dark” suicide walks.  I have been a part of the suicide walk where people share their stories. The walk is healing because you meet so many people who understand what you are going through. Sharing stories that are sad and give hope to others.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention puts on the suicide walks through out the US. They believe that having the walks and donating monetarily will save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide. The website will have information:

Anytime someone is showing signs that they want to hurt themselves, reach out to a professional. We might feel we are imposing but I would rather impose than loose someone.

Do You Need Likes On Your Social Media?

What causes us to need people to like our posts? Why are their people who must like every post they see? Why do we get upset if we don’t get a lot of likes on our posts? How much do you care? I tend to be on Facebook more that LinkedIn, and LinkedIn more than Instagram. Then when it comes to snapchat, I just don’t find it in my wheelhouse of following. Don’t get me wrong my kids set me up on Snapchat I just don’t find the use of it. Maybe, it is just to young of an app for me to care.

When it comes to me, I like what I like but I don’t feel the need to like everything I see. At some point I think I am on here to much and put my phone away, leave it in another room, or log out of the social media apps. It does drive me crazy when I see folks like everything, makes me think they must be bored or feel they are missing out if they don’t.

I found on information that leads to issues always watching your social media. It talks about that little rush you get when your post gets more likes than normal? There is a reason for that rush. Dopamine. For every thumbs-up or heart we get a little psychological high through a shot of dopamine. The more likes the more shots. The more shots we have, the more shots we want. And we’re in a loop. The study also demonstrated that people are more likely to engage with posts that have been endorsed/liked by a large amount of their peers — a follow the crowd mentality.

It makes sense to walk away from the social media platforms and go for a walk, have a bite to eat somewhere, enjoy interaction with people you know and engage in a conversation with a stranger. Get your dopamine in other ways. I will still click the like button when someone post’s something funny, I just need to make sure I keep myself in control of my finger. This can build your self-esteem and cause less stress in the end. I am not saying walk away forever, but for me it is to find time to just put down the phone, tablet, smart TV’s, and computers. We can all take a minute to breath in a bit of personal self-esteem, I know I sure need to.

Putting Yourself Out There

In 2014 Maya Angelou wrote, “Each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled, and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and, carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that as well”.

Getting to know someone is scary, exciting, and unsure. How can I put myself out there when I have so many concerns? Others could call it baggage. I think it is experiences and life lessons that create the baggage and knowledge. Emotional turmoil can keep me from holding back. Worse yet, guiding me back to the same thing. How do we move on and leave the pain behind? I move toward taking the bad and working out why it was bad, taking the good and remembering the feelings to move onto the next relationship.

When it comes to moving forward, I used to move quickly, out of sight out of mind. Now I can be single and be happy. This could be based on my age, or it could be that learning more about myself has given me the ability to sift through the B.S. I am not mean, or bitter, I am self-reliant and will not settle for anything less than someone treating me with the respect I will give them. Both men and women are on equal footing for the pain of the wrong mate, and equal to having their best friend.

When I was young, I had the tendency to become engage with a man who was never emotionally available. I was engaged to a man when I was an 18 – 22 and he was always cheating. I then said I would never go through that again, I decided to be emotionally unavailable for the next 5 years. Always, keeping any man who would be good to me at bay and dealing with a man who wanted to play games. I was able to disengage from these men at the snap of a finger. At that point I met a man who was friends with other friends. This “man” lied about his age and was only 20. At this point I was 28 and fell for him before I should have. Again, finally letting my guard down.

I wasn’t emotionally intelligent and worked with my libido rather than my mental faculties. This didn’t work out so well for me. I stayed with him for 13 years, while we had 3 kids. Once my son was born, I got myself together and decided to when he turned 3 I was going to turn a new page. I left him and raised my kids to beautiful young adults and spent most of the next 17 years alone. Not because I couldn’t find anyone because of my choice to put my children first. This meant to leave anyone behind that waisted my time. At this point I found myself a bit bitter and realized I needed to grow into the woman I need to be. The woman that another could respect and love. This leads me to now, single for the past 3 years and good with my choices.

Would it be great to be with someone, of course? It is even greater to know there will be someone who will come into my life and will fit without a hard push. If you are going through such a transitional change as what I went through, take a step back, don’t beat yourself up, and just breath. Life’s issues can be resolved with your own ability to not revert to old ways and crucify the next person who comes into your life. #loveyourself #emotional baggage